1. I really like your similes, particularly ‘a mass of marshland.’ They really brought the story to life and I could imagine what the planet would look like.
2. The only bad thing about your writing is that you sometimes miss out words or punctuation. Try and concentrate the whole time when you’re writing.
3. Your idea of looking through a telescope at the planet is really creative and I really like it.
1. I really like your similes, particularly ‘a mass of marshland.’ They really brought the story to life and I could imagine what the planet would look like.
2. The only bad thing about your writing is that you sometimes miss out words or punctuation. Try and concentrate the whole time when you’re writing.
3. Your idea of looking through a telescope at the planet is really creative and I really like it.
By Alex