I really like your simile: “I felt my face reddening like a thunderstorm about to discharge a bolt of lightning,” as it really helped me get into the story.
I think you need to use a bit more punctuation because I think the story would flow better.
I was impressed because you didn’t miss out as many words; making the story better.
I really like your simile: “I felt my face reddening like a thunderstorm about to discharge a bolt of lightning,” as it really helped me get into the story.
I think you need to use a bit more punctuation because I think the story would flow better.
I was impressed because you didn’t miss out as many words; making the story better.